I Fell In Love With My Friend

There Are Situations Where We're Forced To Understand But Comes With No Explanation.
So How Are We To Understand?
They Always Say Happiness Is A Choice, But it Isn't When You're Deprived By Nature Itself.
When You Really Feel Helpless Too The Choices You Made In Life.
When Being The One Is The Only Thing That Really Matters.

Friends Are To Be Friends Forever Rite? Well Whoever Said That Had No Sense Of Understanding Their Feelings Nor Emotions. The Countless Confusing Feels That One Gets When Not Sure If The Heart Whispers Correct Or Just Gets Too Silent With No Answer.
No One Actually Has The Power To Choose Who They Fall In Love With, That's A Given From GOD, Unless You Finger Point The Person You "SEE" As Perfect For Your Being, Which Is Normally Referred Too As Lust.

Falling In Love Is A Beautiful Thing. One Of The Misunderstood Feels One Can Have. It's Unexplainable, It's Exciting, It's Deceitful Yet Encouraging With A False Hope Of Forever.
Its Not Rational As It Should Be Factual.
Promising And Faithful, The Never Ending Truth Of How Love Found Its Way In Your Life. For Sometime You Feel Like Its The Only Right Thing To Do.

I Believe In Love, But I Hardly Know What That Is, Besides Self Love & Mutual Understanding.
Even After 10 Heart Breaks I Still Have The Courage To Love, The Eagerness Of Learning What Love Is & The Hope Of Finding The Right Guardian To Protect My Heart.

I Fell In Love With My Friend, Uuhhhhm, I Guess This Happens To Everyone, But How We Approach It Makes Us Or Breaks Us.
Well Either Way, Its Not An Easy Thing Like Putting Thread Into A Needle.

We've Been Friends For A While, But Hardly Have I Told Him "I Love You" With The Affection Of Meaning It.
Moments Passed While We Taught Each Other The Perks Of Reality & Normality. The Lies Of Forever And Infinity, Being Truthful To Each Other Within Our Bounds, Once Crossed They Make No Sense Anymore.
I Never Chose To Love Like This, I Never Chose To Feel This Way, Somehow GOD Had A Hand In This.

A Life Lived Out Of Lies Is A Life With No Meaning, And I Couldn't Go Forth With The Pretense Of Lying To Myself.
"I Fell In Love With My Friend"
I'm Just Not Sure If He Knows But
Being Blatantly Honest Makes Me Brave To All The Challenges I Face.

How It Started Was When We Spoke For Hours, Hours & Hours Through The Dark Alleys Of Midnight, When Most Are Sleeping, Some Are Having Sex & We Just Had A Joint That Made Its Point.
Everything Was Chilled & Mutual At That Stage, Where It Was A World Of Two Liberated Minds That Had The Same Plan & Motive. Everything We Said To Each Other Was Like A Game Of Leggos, It Went Perfectly On Top Of Each Other.
At That Time I Thought Somehow This Person Has Been Out There Studying A Book Written About Me But NO that Wasn't So,, He Was Just Like Me, Like The Right Hand Too The Left Hand, They Aren't The Same By They Need Each Other To Get Some Work Done.

I'm A Hopeless Romantic, & A Lover By Default, So When Someone Becomes True To Themselves They Make Me Weak For Them. I Honor More And Admire Immensely. What Happened With My Friend, He Never Planned To Be This Perfect In My Eyes, But What He Had Planned is To Be A Friend & Nothing More But A Friend..
From My View He Knew Nothing About "Friends" Falling In Love, It Was A Crazy Thought, Cause Things Would Change For The Worse.
And It Is Said Do What Benefits You Good, If I Had The Balls And Told Him, We'd Probably Be Talking A Different Story.
I Confided In My Little Sister About This, Apparently It Was Not A Good Idea To Be More Than Friends, Cause When It's Dry We Pray For Rain, And When It Rains We Complain About Being Wet. We No Longer Know What We Want,, Well When I Heard That I Was Like "Bullshxt",, I Don't Relate Too Such, I Love This Person & He Makes Me Happy, At least When I'm Down.

Me Telling Him Would Mean New Heights For Me & Probably Lows For Him. The Thought Of Ruining Our Relationship Kills Me.
What If He Doesn't Love Me Like I Do? What If He Doesn't See Me In That Manner? What If I'm Just Playing A Total Fool Just To Get What I Want?
All These Questions Had An Impact To How I Go Forth With This Matter..
But That Didn't Change The Fact That I Love Him,, The Fact That He Completes Every Piece That Was Missing Of Me.
I'm Sapiosexual & So Is He,, The Only Thing That Attracts Me Strongly To Him Is His Mind, His Intellectual Ways Of Approaching Matters, Damn I Just Don't Wanna Be Friends.
I Wanna Marry This Soul, I Wanna Cut My Soul In Half & Let Him Own A Part Of It. I Wanna Be The Reason He Smiles Every Now And Then,, I Wanna Smile Cause He Makes Me Feel Good, Every Word That Comes Out Of My Mouth Aligns Parallel To His.
I Wanna Be A Term He Can't Define But A Song He Knows Lyrics Too,
Sadly This Can't Be Life, It's Just A Fantasy Of A Matrimony Scripted In My Head.

I Don't Know If He Feels The Same Way, The Look In His Eyes Says Yes But His Mouth Speaks Of A World Full Of Cats Running Around Him.
I Can't Ruin That, I Can't Lie In order To Get Him Next To Me,, I Can't Make Him Think Or Say The Things I Really Want Him To Say.
I Don't Wanna Ruin Our Friendship, Our Brotherhood, Our Plans As Friends & Not Lovers.
I Don't Want To Hate Him For No Reason,, I Just Want Him To Look At Me And Ask, Are You Ready To Take Over The World?

BUT,

That Will Never Happen Cause Our Lives & Love Perceptions
Are bathed With Comparison Before The Actual Try, (We Are Forced To Do As Others Do, Without Our First Try) It Is Already Judged By What We Call "Perfect Unions"
So The Whole Philosophy That Friends Become Lovers Is Just A Saying To Soother Your Soul..

I Fell In Love With My Friend & Now It's Killing Me..

-Ofentse Sean Lewis